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BLAINESWORLD
#650
3.16.2009 In this issue: 1. Reflections 2. FYI 3. My friend Murray 4. Reviews . . . THE CLASS, etc. 5. TV alert 6. When things go wrong at the White House 7. Websites 8. Computer tip 9. Creative puns for "educated minds," Part 1 of 2 10. A quote I like 11. Thought for the day 12. Advance planning department _________________________________________________________ 1. Reflections A. Cynthia, my beautiful bride, and I had a blast with several of our new friends on Saturday . . . we first went to Eddie Spaghetti (828.277.9300)
in Asheville for dinner . . . our pizza was quite good, though the wait was rather long given the fact that the place was relatively empty when we got there . . . we then went a few stores down to South Asheville Yoga Center where they were having a free Nia Dance Party . . . if you're not familiar with Nia, it is a joyful fusion of dance, martial arts and healing movement . . . the instructor, Ondine Constable, was excellent. Ondine runs a regular Nia course every Saturday morning at 9:30 at the above facility . . . in addition, on the 2nd Saturday of each month, she runs the aforementioned free party . . . do check it out; you'll have a fun time . . . all ages are welcome, no experience is needed, and you can come with or without a partner . . . for more information, please click: http://www.southashevilleyoga.com/ Afterwards, we all journeyed to Marble Slab Creamery (828.277.0575) for ice cream . . . this place is rapidly becoming another of our favorites, in that the ice cream is always tasty . . . and the hours are good, too . . . in fact, I believe it is the place in Asheville that stays open the latest when you need an ice cream "fix." On Sunday, we saw STONES IN HIS POCKETS at the Diana Wortham Theatre . . . this comedy-drama is about a little Irish village, besieged by a crew of Hollywood moviemakers . . . incredibly, it features only two actors: Charles McIver and Scott Treadway who between them, play a variety of roles including two blokes who are extras in the movie, an American movie starlet, a film director, the director's assistant, children, other extras, etc. . . . their performances were as fine as we've seen in quite some time. B. I always appreciate it when readers send me something that they come across and/or they think I can use in future issues . . . such was the case recently when Risa, my daughter, saw my picture on the cover of a magazine:  So now you know what I do in my spare time! That said, in your spare time, you might want to check out this website: http://www.faceinhole.com I don't know if you'll wind up on INSIDE KUNG-FU; however, you could well appear on another magazine cover, in an ad or even as Glenn from the Village People! C. There's still room for you or your relatives, neighbors, friends and colleagues to enroll in the FREE smoking cessation programs that I'll be running in Bucks County, PA next month . . . for more information, please click: http://tinyurl.com/c9tye9 Don't forget to share the above with your organization's HR Office; e.g., to make it available to all area employees. And THANKS to Steve Bacher, the fine director of e-marketing at Bucks County Community College, for both creating and posting this link. SPEICAL OPPORTUNITY (and p-t job): I'm looking to possibly distribute flyers on the Bucks campus during the week of March 23-27 and part of March 30-April 3 . . . the times would be 11:30-1:30 p.m. and 5:30-7 p.m. . . . I would even pay you if you (or somebody you know) could help distribute the flyers . . . if interested or you know somebody else who would be, send an email to: iplan2quit@aol.com and put SPECIAL OPPORTUNITY in subject line.
D. CONDOLENCES to Roger Clark on the loss of his brother Bernie . . . interested, please feel free to make a donation in Bernie's name to the following organization: Livengrin Foundation, Scholarship Program, 4833 Hulmeville, Rd., Bensalem, PA 19020. Unfortunately, I never had the pleasure of meeting Bernie . . . however, I can tell you that the Livengrin Foundation for Addiction Recovery is a non-profit drug and alcohol addiction treatment center that does excellent work . . . for more information, please click: ***** BLAINESWORLD BEST AWARD ***** This week it goes to Peter Hughes--VP of Sales and Marketing for Abbey Group Companies in Philadelphia. However, I'm recognizing Peter for another reason; i.e., because of his excellent work as head coach of the Pennsbury High School soccer team. He recently stepped down from that position after his teams compiled a record of 64 wins, 31 losses and 9 ties . . . this past year was one of the most successful ever: 14-5-1, including the conference championship (the second time this happened during Peter's tenure). Wins and losses, though, tell only part of the story . . . to be on Peter's team, players had to agree to give back to the community . . . as he wrote them in an email that I quoted in BLAINESWORLD #452, "Please make sure you are volunteering for the right reasons. . . . After all, the spirit of giving should be at its strongest when there is nothing to be gained." Peter will now be taking on additional work responsibilities . . . also, he will be spending more time with the family and to quote him, "finally complete about 50 half-finished chores around the house." He'll also have more time for his hobby of drawing, which he has recently picked up again . . . he specializes in drawing guitarists/singers out of pastel or charcoal, and his work can be seen hanging in the living rooms of family and friends. Back to top _________________________________________________________ 2. FYI For a great travel idea, consider this one from EAT, PRAY, LOVE (see also Sections 4C, 10 and 11) by Elizabeth Gilbert: Mostly, you meet your friends when traveling by accident, like by sitting next to them on a train, or in a restaurant, or in a holding cell. But these are chance encounters, and you should never rely entirely on chance. For a more systematic approach, there is still the grand old system of the "letter of introduction" (today more likely to be an email), presenting you formally to the acquaintance of an acquaintance. This is a terrific way to meet people, if you're shameless enough to make the cold call and invite yourself over for dinner. So before I left for Italy, I asked everyone I knew in America if they had any friends in Rome, and I'm happy to report that I have been sent abroad with a substantial list of Italian contacts. FYI, part 2 * Mary Lou in North Carolina: Good seeing you and your “beautiful bride” Friday night at the social. BTW—after reading your last newsletter, I wanted to tell you about Fiddlin’ Pig. If you haven't already been introduced to the group, Balsam Range, do try to go back to Fiddlin’ Pig when they're scheduled to play. They are incredible musicians from Haywood County—they do basically a combination of bluegrass and gospel—and have very witty comments throughout. They put on a good show! Thanks, also, for the recommendation of Restaurant.com. Do you know about the WNC Insiders Savings Card? That’s another “must have” for this area! * Danny in North Carolina: Have you tried eating at the Apollo Flame [in Asheville] yet? It is practically down the road from you. They serve Greek and Italian food. What I like most there is the food is fast and hot, and the atmosphere is great. I have no problems going there for lunch for a sit-down meal and getting back to work in time. * Marco in New Jersey: Thomas Sweet is being considered for best ice cream in NJ by New Jersey Life Magazine. Please take a minute and cast a vote for us by following this link. Also, please pass on to anyone you know who loves Thomas Sweet! http://www.newjerseylife.com/current-issue/index.aspx?pageID=1049
* Natalie in Pennsylvania: I'm letting your readers know about a new group forming in Newtown, Pennsylvania. The mission of the group is as follows: "In order to insure that Newtown remains a vital residential and business community that respects its past and looks forward, we feel that it is important at this time to plan for the future. This planning should encompass zoning, traffic conditions/congestion, architectural size, style and mass of buildings, future development and community uses." Membership is open to any committed resident of the Township or Borough. The group is actively seeking those with expertise in issues affecting senior citizens, teenagers, architecture, traffic, and environmental issues. Notes of meetings will be maintained and are available for public review. For more information, please click: http://www.newtown21stvoice.blogspot.com
* Tom in New Jersey: As a result of networking on Facebook, I got my first collection of 6,000 comics to sell. My old boss mentioned that I should try to find collections for their auction or sell things they won't take on eBay. Times are tough and people need extra cash. Tell your friends and relatives not to sell until they talk to me! I can get them the best offer out there. Read how I sell on my all sorts of collectibles on my website: http://www.actorr.com/comicinvestments.htm
* Jerry in Pennsylvania: I have a lot of eBay items for sale that I think your readers would be interested in; please click: http://www.homebound101.com
* Nancy in California: I have a friend who has something different that she's selling on eBay: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&item=170310843585
* Bev in Pennsylvania (about an apartment in Brooklyn): PRICE REDUCTION! This sunny, recently renovated 2BR is in pristine, move-in condition. It has beautiful hardwood floors, a superb layout, and a location on historic Clinton Avenue, right off booming Myrtle Avenue. The co-op has an active board and friendly residents. This is a beautiful space as well as an incredible investment. For more information and photos, please click: http://www.jerushadesign.com/153clinton
Back to top _________________________________________________________ 3. My friend Murray So, after landing a new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, my friend Murray lasted less than a day. About two hours into his first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As Murray had been instructed, he said pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?" The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?" Murray replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe you had sex twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart." His supervisor told him that he probably wasn't cut out for this line of work. Back to top _________________________________________________________ 4. Reviews A. You'll probably have to dig to find THE CLASS, but if you succeed, you'll be glad that you did . . . it's the absorbing journey into a multicultural high school in Paris over the course of a school year . . . though not a documentary, it has the feel and look of one . . . François Begaudeau--an actual teacher and the author upon whose work the film was based--turns in a believable performance in the lead role . . . his students are mostly non-professional actors, but they too are excellent . . . rated PG-13. B. THE BOY IN THE STRIPED PAJAMAS is now out in DVD format . . . my review from BLAINESWORLD # 634 follows: Do whatever you can to see THE BOY IN THE STRIPED PAJAMAS, my pick so far for this year's Best Film . . . it is the touching story about a young German boy and his forbidden friendship with a Jewish child who lives at a nearby "farm" that's really a concentration camp . . . they eventually find a way to meet, which leads to the film's climax that will blow you away . . . Asa Butterfield and Jack Scanlon are both remarkable as the two youths, and I liked the work of Vera Farmiga (so watchable in THE DEPARTED) as one of the mothers . . . rated PG-13. C. Several people had suggested that I read Elizabeth Gilbert's EAT, PRAY, LOVE (see also Sections 2, 10 and 11) . . . yet I kept resisting the recommendation, in large part because it sounded like a "chick lit" type book that would only appeal to women. Even the subtitle didn't grab me: ONE WOMAN'S SEARCH FOR EVERYTHING ACROSS ITALY, INDIA AND INDONESIA . . . I could perhaps understand why the first country was there, but the other two? Was I ever wrong! This was the best book I've read in quite some time . . . though based on the author's actual journey, it read like a novel . . . I nearly couldn't put it down. Several parts had me laughing out loud; e.g., when she described her signing-up for Italian lessons: * Studying a language is something you can actually do. So I signed up for classes at one of those continuing education places (otherwise known as Night School for Divorced Ladies). My friends thought this was hilarious. My friend Nick asked, "Why are you studying Italian? So that--just in case Italy ever invades Ethiopia again, and is actually successful this time--you can brag about knowing a language that's spoken in two whole countries?" Other parts moved me, such as when she talked about her divorce: * The fact that I can even write calmly about this today is mighty evidence of time's healing powers, because I didn't take it well as it was happening. To be losing David right after the failure of my marriage, and right after the terrorizing of my city, and right during the worst ugliness of divorce (a life experience my friend Brian has compared to "having a really bad car accident every single day for about two years") . . . well, this was simply too much. Lastly, I found myself reading certain passages more than once--something that I rarely do--because they contained such wisdom . . . for instance: * In a dark moment of confusion about David, I'd once confided my heartache to this monk. He listened respectfully, offered up the most compassionate advice he could find, and then said, "And now I'm kissing my robes." He lifted a corner of his saffron robes and gave a loud smack. Thinking this was probably some super-arcane religious custom, I asked what he was doing. He said, "Same thing I always do whenever anyone comes to me for relationship advice, I'm just thanking God I'm a monk and I don't have to deal with this stuff anymore." SPOILER ALERT: I was so interested in Gilbert's story that I researched whether she was still with Felipe, the guy she met in Indonesia . . . it turns out she is, and they're now happily married in New Jersey where they run an import business together . . . for more information, please click: http://www.elizabethgilbert.com/faq.htm#FAQ10
D. Enjoyed listening to A LIFE ON THE ROAD, written and read by Charles Kuralt . . . for those not familiar with the name, he hosted CBS News' SUNDAY MORNING show for more than 30 years. His "On the Road" segments were the best part . . . he would tell stories of ordinary Americans that he had met while touring the country in a recreational vehicle . . . you felt that you got to really know the folks he was profiling--and you appreciated them, too. Certain tales had me smiling, such as his visit to the world's largest ball of string . . . as he wrote, "the problem with making it is that you're always worried that somebody out there is making a bigger one." Yet there were other visits that moved me, including his description of a family awaiting a soldier's return from Vietnam. A LIFE ON THE ROAD is somewhat autobiographical, in that you learn about Kuralt's varied career that took him around the world . . . however, what made it even more interesting was that the author shared many of the insights he gained from what many others might consider just the simple things in life. Back to top _________________________________________________________ 5. TV alert A. DHANI TACKLES THE GLOBE has NFL linebacker Dhani Jones journeying around the world trying out other sports, including dragon boat racing in Singapore, a little rugby in England and some hard-core muay thai boxing in Thailand . . . Mondays at 9 p.m. on TRAVEL. B. For something different, try PRIMETIME: WHAT WOULD YOU DO? . . . Tuesdays at 10 p.m. on ABC . . . each week, you'll see how average citizens would react to actors involved in such situations as a mother telling her daughter that she was fat (when buying a wedding dress), a pharmacist refusing to give a 15-year old birth control pills and fraternity hazing that seemingly got out of control. C. HEAVY METAL IN BAGHDAD tells the story of Iraq's first and, when the 2007 documentary was released, only heavy metal band . . . according to THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, "The band members are smart and cool, their sound is pretty tight, and there is enough absurdity in their situation for some good, grim humor . . . Thursday at 10 p.m. on SUNDANCE. D. DEATH ON A FACTORY FARM is a heartbreaking report on animal cruelty within the food industry . . . Friday at 12:30 a.m. on HBO . . . for other dates and times, please click: http://www.hbo.com/apps/schedule/ScheduleServlet?ACTION_DETAIL=DETAIL&FOCUS_ID=626647
_________________________________________________________ Back to top 6. When things go wrong at the White House Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900--$400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me." The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me." The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700." The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence." "Done!" replies the government official. And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work. Back to top _________________________________________________________ 7. Websites A. Here's a little food for thought: http://www.theeatthatfrogmovie.com/
It is based on work by Brian Tracy . . . methinks that if you pay attention to it, you'll be less likely to procrastinate--or at least not today! B. "Jai Ho," the Best Song Oscar winner from SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE, has been Americanized . . . see for yourself by clicking: http://www.popeater.com/music/article/pussycat-dolls-get-on-the-millionaire/381661
The video features Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls . . . she said in a recent interview, "I thought the movie was unbelievably powerful and life-changing. The story was unlike any other story I'd ever seen before. I
felt it could touch and make an impact on anyone no matter who you are or where you are from. The characters and the heart and soul of the movie and the music truly inspired me. It was such a great honor to be able to re-write my own version of the lyrics to 'Jai Ho'--'You are my Destiny.' " Does she succeed? I'd be curious as to your reaction. C. BLAINESWORLD, the website, remains up and running . . . to view it, please click: http://www.blainesworld.net
There are now 911 subscribers . . . my goal is to get that total up to 1,000 by the end of the year . . . you can help by mailing this entire issue to friends, inviting them to subscribe (feel free to include your recommendation) . . . subscription information is toward the bottom of my website's homepage where it says "Special Offer" . . . or you can also find similar information at the bottom of this week's issue. Back to top _________________________________________________________ 8. Computer tip Is your Internet access going slower than you think it should? If so, try these simple steps: Turn off your computer completely. Unplug the connections to both your modem and router. Wait 60 seconds. Plug back your the above connections. Turn your computer back on. You'll be pleasantly surprised with the improved performance. Back to top _________________________________________________________ 9. Creative puns for "educated minds," Part 1 of 2 MY TWO CENTS: If you laugh at these, consider yourself educated; if not, well I'll let you draw your own conclusion. 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. 5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. 6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. 12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. (to be concluded next week) Back to top ________________________________________________________ 10. A quote I like I've also noticed that his [her medicine man's] estimation of his age changes by the day, based on how he feels. When he's really tired, he'll sigh and say, "Maybe eighty-five today," but when he's feeling more upbeat he'll say, "I think I'm sixty today." Perhaps this is as good a way of estimating age as any--how old do you feel? What else matters, really?--Elizabeth Gilbert in EAT, PRAY, LOVE (see also Sections 2, 4C and 11) Back to top _________________________________________________________ 11. Thought for the day You can tell when I really like a book if you see it cited four separate times in any one newsletter . . . that's certainly true about EAT, PRAY, LOVE (see also Sections 2, 4C and 11) by Elizabeth Gilbert . . . I loved her idea for dealing with something difficult in your life; i.e., write a petition to God: Dear God, Please intervene and help end this divorce. My husband and I have failed at our marriage and now we are failing at our di- vorce. This poisonous process is bringing suffering to us and to everyone who cares about us. I recognize that you are busy with wars and tragedies and much larger conflicts than the ongoing dispute of one dysfunc- tional couple. But it is my understanding that the health of the planet is affected by the health of every individual on it. As long as even two souls are locked in conflict, the whole of the world is contaminated by it. Similarly, if even one or two souls can he free from discord, this will increase the general health of the whole world, the way a few healthy cells in a body can increase the general health of that body. It is my most humble request, then, that you help us end this conflict, so that two more people can have the chance to become free and healthy, and so there will be just a little bit less animos- ity and bitterness in a world that is already far too troubled by suffering. I thank you for your kind attention. Respectfully, Elizabeth M. Gilbert I read it to Iva, and she nodded her approval. "I would sign that," she said. I handed the petition over to her with a pen, but she was too busy driv- ing, so she said, "No, let's say that I did just sign it. I signed it in my heart." "Thank you, Iva. I appreciate your support." "Now, who else would sign it?" she asked. "My family. My mother and father. My sister." "OK," she said. "They just did. Consider their names added. I actually felt them sign it. They're on the list now. OK-who else would sign it? Start naming names. So I started naming names of all the people who I thought would sign this petition. I named all my close friends, then some family members and some people I worked with. After each name, Iva would say with assurance, 'Yep. He just signed it," or "She just signed it." Sometimes she would pop in with her own signatories, like: "My parents just signed it. They raised their children during a war. They hate useless conflict. They'd be happy to see your divorce end." I closed my eyes and waited for more names to come to me. "I think Bill and Hillary Clinton just signed it," I said. "I don't doubt it," she said. "Listen, Liz--anybody can sign this petition. Do you understand that? Call on anyone, living or dead, and start collecting signatures." "Saint Francis of Assisi just signed it!" "Of course he did!" Iva smacked her hand against the steering wheel with certainty. Now I was cooking: "Abraham Lincoln just signed it! And Gandhi, and Mandela and all the peacemakers. Eleanor Roosevelt, Mother Teresa, Bono, Jimmy Carter, Muhammad Ali, Jackie Robinson and the Dalai Lama . . . and my grand- mother who died in 1984 and my grandmother who's still alive . . . and my Italian teacher, and my therapist, and my agent . . . and Martin Lu- ther King Jr. and Katharine Hepburn . . . and Martin Scorsese (which you wouldn't necessarily expect, but it's still nice of him) . . . and my Guru, of course . . . and Joanne Woodward, and Joan of Arc, and Ms. Carpenter, my fourth-grade teacher, and Jim Henson--" The names spilled from me. They didn't stop spilling for almost an hour, as we drove across Kansas and my petition for peace stretched into page af- ter invisible page of supporters. Iva kept confirming yes, he signed it, yes, she signed it-and I became filled with a grand sense of protection, sur- rounded by the collective goodwill of so many mighty souls. The list finally wound down, and my anxiety wound down with it. I was sleepy. Iva said, "Take a nap. I'll drive." I closed my eyes. One last name ap- peared. "Michael J. Fox just signed it," I murmured, then drifted into sleep. I don't know how long I slept, maybe only for ten minutes, but it was deep. When I woke up, Iva was still driving. She was humming a little song to her- self. I yawned. My cell phone rang. I looked at that crazy little telefonino vibrating with excitement in the ashtray of the rental car. I felt disoriented, kind of stoned from my nap, sud- denly unable to remember how a telephone works. "Go ahead," Iva said, already knowing. "Answer the thing." I picked up the phone, whispered hello. "Great news!" my lawyer announced from distant New York City. "He just signed it!" Back to top _________________________________________________________ 12. Advance planning department A. Worried about paying for your child's college education? If you're the parents of a high school freshmen, sophomores and juniors, then attend "Financial Aid 101" . . . this is a FREE workshop being offered by Dr. Barry Sysler. Location: Chandler Hall (Wright Meeting Room) in Newtown, PA Date and time: March 18 at 7 p.m. For more information or to register, call 215.579.8281 or click: http://www.academicdirections.com B. Friday night, March 20, come see Tom Orr (one of my favorite local actors) and others in a play reading of DOCTOR ANONYMOUS at the ActorsNET in Morrisville, PA . . . no formal admission charge; $10 suggested donation . . . for more information, please click: http://www.actorsnetbucks.org/Play_Readings/index.html
C. OUR TOWN is playing at Congregation Ohev Shalom in Richboro, PA on March 21, 22, 27 and 28 . . . . tickets are available by clicking: http://www.ohev.org/events/ourtown.htm
D. The next Louder Than Words story telling will be at Maxwell’s in Hoboken, NJ on Tuesday, April 28 and thereafter [hopefully] the last Tuesday of each month. For more information, please click: http://www.louderthanwordsstories.com/
_________________________________________________________ PS. If you're Irish or if you're like me and you celebrate all holidays, Happy St. Patrick's Day on Tuesday . . . as you do, keep in mind the following Irish blessing (one of my favorites): May the best day in your past be the worst day in your future. Also, please join me in praying that we soon get our remaining soldiers back from Iraq and that peace resumes in Israel . . . and make it a great week! Back to top ---------------------------------------------------------- SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBCRIBE INFORMATION To subscribe to this publication, please send an email to: bginbc@aol.com and put SUBSCRIBE in subject line . . . if you wish to unsubscribe, just send an email to same address and put UNSUBSCRIBE in subject line. |
