#651
3.23.2009

In this issue:
1. Reflections
2. FYI
3. Sad news
4. Reviews . . . I LOVE YOU, MAN, etc.
5. TV alert
6. Bus trip
7. Websites
8. Computer tip
9. Creative puns for "educated minds," Part 2 of 2
10. A quote I like
11. Thought for the day
12. Advance planning department

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1. Reflections

A. Cynthia, my beautiful bride, and I keep marveling at how
much there is to see and do in Asheville . . . one night,
we attended a meeting of the Asheville Storytelling Circle . . . this
particular session was devoted to St. Patrick's Day and members
exchanged stories about the holiday . . . some of them were
funny; others were quite moving.

I liked how this one person began her tale by citing an Indian
proverb:

If you tell me a fact, I'll learn.
If you tell me the truth, I'll believe.
But if you tell me a story, it will live in my heart forever.

On another night, we participated in something called InterPlay . . . it
is a philosophy and set of practices based in creativity, community and
change . . . we had fun and met a lot of nice folks. . . . for more
information, please click:

http://www.interplaytexas.com/whatis.html

Lastly, we found a new community theater: Hendersonville
Little Theatre in Hendersonville, NC and saw a cute comedy:
THE KITCHEN WITCHES.

It is the story of two women who appear on a local cable
cooking show . . . they often battle, such as in this one
scene where there's a competition for who makes the best
dessert . . . Cynthia volunteered me to be one of the judges,
and so I was called up on stage . .  . I was covered by an
apron and then had food stuffed into my face for the next
minute or so . . . in retrospect, I have no idea what I ate
or even if one item was better than the other.

That's me (after the show) with Cheryl Anders on the left
and Monica Kayne on the right:

 

These two women were the two witches, and they both
were excellent . . . I'm only sorry that you won't be able
to see the play because it will have ended its limited run
by the time you read this issue . . . but do plan to join us
at the next production, DEATHTRAP, sometime between
May 8-24 . . . we were probably going to attend anyway, but
now we'll definitely be there because I received passes
for having been the celebrity judge!

For more information, please click:

http://www.hendersonvillelittletheatre.org/

B. I was a guest at a meeting of the Asheville Rotary this past
week . . . two things about the meeting stillstick in my mind.

For one thing, the location was magnificent . . . it was held at
Billy Graham's Training Center, overlooking the mountains . . . the
food was superb . . . and if I ever had the chance to run a program,
that facility would certainly be one of my first choices for locale.

In addition, I very much enjoyed the program . . .it featured
the Prodigal Son-Gospel Choir, which is comprised of prisoners
who are using music to help get their lives back together . . . I
got to ask a question about the impact of the choir's work on
the recidivism rate . . . the response: 60-80% of the prisoners
typically return, but when they get involved in religion in any
form, the rates drop down to 20%.

SPECIAL THANKS to Phil Murphy for having invited me to be his
guest . . . he heads his own firm, Phil Murphy Household
Management . . . he promises to "take care of your home while
you're away" . . . for more information about this company, please click:

http://go2guy.biz/ 

C. I was saddened to read about the skiing accident that took
Natasha Richardson's life . . . she was a fine actress, and I
particularly enjoyed her work in the remake of PARENT TRAP.

However, two things have come out of her death that I hope
others will note:

* She was not wearing a helmet. It would seem to me that
this is something that all those who ski should wear. Maybe
others will now start using this item.

* After she was taken off life support at Manhattan's Lenox Hill
Hospital, her family requested that her organs be donated to other
patients whose lives they might save. What a marvelous way
to honor the memory of somebody who just died!

D. CONGRATULATIONS to my good friend Natalie Kaye in Pennsylvania
on the launch of her new business . . . see below for more information:

Natalie Kaye announces the launching of her new company--On Demand
Programs and Events--for corporations, non-profits and any organization
needing help lining-up speakers or talent for upcoming meetings/events. 
Whether you're looking to raise funds, increase staff productivity,
provide lunch-n-learn seminars or put on community/educational
awareness programs, On Demand can provide affordable, prompt
assistance. Contact Natalie Kaye via phone, 215.579.1836
or natkaye@starlinx.com to ensure a successful event.

MY TWO CENTS:

I've been to many events run by Natalie. They are always top-notch.
And though Natalie currently lives in Bucks County, Pennsylvania
(I'm hoping she and her husband move to Asheville), she
can arrange events for anybody--regardless of state.

***** BLAINESWORLD BEST AWARD *****

This week it goes to Bill Yorke--one of my many talented colleagues
at Bucks County Community College.

Bill is an excellent Science professor, well-respected by both
his students and peers . . . he also does a fine job as chair
of the College's Advisory Council.

However, I'm nominating him for another reason: his continued
service as first vice president of our teacher's union . . . in particular,
Bill was the driving force behind the Salary Inequities Committee . . . this
group worked for some two years and as a result of its efforts,
we now have a tentative agreement with the administration
that will result in 47 faculty members receiving increases
in their pay.

Jim Freeman, who also worked tirelessly with Bill to help
get the above settlement, had this to say about this week's nominee:

"I'd go to battle with Bill Yorke again anytime. Not only is he great
with the numbers (in studies and in negotiations), but he is also fearless
in fighting for the right thing for teachers and students."

I agree!

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2. FYI

I recently had a great visit with a longtime friend, Steve Seidner,
who runs Bagel Junction in Newtown, PA . . . we were discussing
our families, and somehow we got to talking about one of my
favorite TV shows: WHAT WOULD YOU DO? (It airs on Tuesdays
at 10 p.m. on ABC.)

He told me about an employee who saw a $5 bill on the floor
in his restaurant . . . though the employee knew who dropped
the money, he said nothing and picked the bill himself . . . Steve
was obviously not impressed, and he dismissed the employee
shortly thereafter because he was the type person he did not want
working for him.

Steve then shared this bit of wisdom that he teaches to his
children: Act as if you're on camera.

What a great way to lead all our lives!

AN ASIDE:

For the absolutely best bagels (and great wraps, soups, etc.),
check out Bagel Junction:

http://www.bagelj.com

In particular, I'm a big fan of the tuna fish . . . I kid you not . . . Steve
has it prepared in a way that mothers even come in to buy it
for their children who won't eat it when they make it.

FYI, part 2

* Sue in Pennsylvania [discussing her attempts to quit smoking]:

I will tell you I never really believed I would quit. I was not happy about it,
nor did I care to lose what felt like my best friend. I really never expected
to succeed,and yet I did.

I am smoke free for over 2 years, and best of all, I have no desire
to ever smoke. I never think about it, which is a big problem for people
who quit. We miss it terribly, and the longing is very difficult.

But somehow, I did not experience the longing. I was able to quit and
not look back--all thanks to the book and you, of course.

My point is that I do not think people have to have any real desire or
will power or positive attitude since that was not my experience, although
I suspect it helps in all areas of life.

I think sometimes even just letting go of expectations frees a person from

the attachment. Sometimes what we resist persists.

I think your program can help anyone who just makes even a small attempt.
It's that simple.

YOU CAN STILL ENROLL:

There's still room in the smoking cessation programs that I'll be running
next month in Bucks County, PA . . . for more information, please click:

 

http://tinyurl.com/c9tye9

Even if you're a non-smoker, please share this information with your
friends, relatives, colleagues, students, HR offices, etc. . . my goal
is to help 100 people stop smoking!

* Mel in Colorado:

This [what you write in your PS each week] implies that there once was
peace in Israel, which you and I know was never the case.

Consider a change of language:
that peace comes to Israel
that peace comes to Israel and her neighbors
that peace and security come to Israel

You can think of more, I'm sure.

CHANGE MADE:

Mel, who just so happens to one of my favorite rabbis, always makes
good points when he writes me . . . as you can see in this week's PS,
I already incorporated a change.

* Jean in Pennsylvania: 

Thanks for alerting your BLAINESWORLD readers that THE
CHANGELING is now out in DVD. A dear friend of mine, Wendy
Worthington, a character actor in LA, plays a nurse in the psychiatric
hospital in the film. The last year has been particularly hard on actors
like her with very little work to go around. Therefore, I really appreciate
your endorsement of the film, for every time someone buys or rents
the DVD, she’ll get another small royalty check. By the way, she said
she loved working with Clint Eastwood, a brilliant director.

* Disputing the theory that there's no such thing as a free lunch,
Jerry in Pennsylvania wants to invite you to one:

Friday March 27th
"How to live the good life in this uncertain economy"
1-2:30 p.m.
Includes Free Lunch

The Township Library of Lower Southampton
1983 Bridgetown Pike
Feasterville, PA 19053

Click to register:

 

http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=nxmu8ycab.0.fj7fpxcab.csp9fkcab.4950&ts=S0393&p=http%3A%2F%2F006ffd5.netsolhost.com%2Ffinancialworkshplibrary.html

* Kathy in Florida:

I found it strange that you allowed all those people to advertise
their eBay and sale items in your newsletter [last week's issue]. It does
not seem consistent with the high quality I've come to expect from
your weekly newsletter. You also put yourself in a position now
to have everyone under the sun asking to do the same thing, and once
you allow it for one person, you can't say no to someone else. 

MR. CURIOUS HERE:

Does what Kathy write bother anybody else? I can appreciate
what she is saying, but on the other hand, I've always tried
to use BLAINESWORLD to help my friends (and readers)
spread the word about their various activities, programs, etc.

Tell me what you think, please.

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3. Sad news

Due to the deepening economic crisis, stock market crash, budget cuts
and the rising costs of insurance, electricity, petroleum, housing,
and taxes, "The Light at the End of the Tunnel" has been turned off.

We apologize for any inconvenience.

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4. Reviews

A. If you're in the mood for some laughs, catch I LOVE YOU, MAN . . . it's
a comedy about a guy who proposes to his girl friend, but then
comes to the realization that he has no male friends; e.g., to ask
to be the best man at his wedding . . . Paul Rudd was fine
in one of the lead roles; however, I thought his counterpart
(Jason Segel) was hilarious . . . . I first noticed him in
FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL; he'll now be somebody
I look for in future films . . . I also liked the work of Rashida
Jones as Rudd's girlfriend . . . rated R.

B. ROLE MODELS is now out in DVD format . . . my review
from BLAINESWORLD #633 follows:

Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott play two men who are hardly
model citizens in ROLE MODELS, a very funny comedy . . . when
their bad behavior puts them in trouble with the law, they soon must
complete community service in a Big Brothers-type program . . . Christopher
Mintz-Plasse, who made his debut as in SUPERBAD, continues
to impress me here in what's essentially a costarring role . . . the
language is foul; however, if you can get past that, you'll find that the
laughs never stop coming . . . there was also a ending that was
surprisingly touching . . . rated R.

C. You must read Shari Faden Donahue's CHILDREN'S PICTURE
BOOKS: HOW TO SELF-PUBLISH YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS!
if you've ever considered writing and/or illustrating such books . . . me
thinks that even published authors in this field will pick up
valuable tips, too.

It is a comprehensive insider's handbook that contains information
on writing, illustration, design, printing, sales, distribution and
publicity.

One of the things I liked most about it was that it did not talk
down to the potential author . . . that is the feeling I get
when reading some "Idiot's Guides" on various subjects . . . Donahue,
instead, makes you feel like you are her partner in the process . . . and
she even tells you, "Sure, it’s simple, writing for kids . . . just as simple
as bringing them up."

Yet don't let that discourage you . . . she goes on to tell you exactly
what you need to every step along the way . . . in doing so, she
includes both informative examples and colorful illustrations from
one of the other books she has authored: THE ZEBRA-STRIPED WHALE
WITH THE POLKA-DOT TAIL (one of my favorite children's books, by
the way).

You know that Donahue knows what she is talking about because
she has been there . . . so when she says something, you
should make a mental note to do it--such as when she advises
how to minimize your errors:

* According to Brent Sampson, author of Publishing Gems,
Insider Information for the Self-Publishing Writer, a writer
benefits from reading his/her manuscript aloud—as well as
backward—to find errors. He states, "When you read a manuscript
backward, word for word, misspellings literally jump off the page."

Also, you'll find yourself vowing to get out more because
that's one of the keys to your book's future success . . . Donahue
says that it is absolutely crucial to:

* Network . . . Network . . . Network

Attend local book signings. Get accustomed to talking to children’s
picture book authors about their unique publishing experiences. I
have discovered that authors who have already succeeded at the
publishing game are among the most willing to assist hopeful writers.
When a local children’s book author is featured in the media, it is
common for him/her to feel like a "king/queen for the day." Be bold.
Go straight to the source. Make an effort to contact members of the
community, and is likely to feel flattered by your interest in his/her
title. Local author contact information may be obtained by calling
the journalist directly, accessing the author’s Web site, or utilizing
directory assistance. Keep a brief list of relevant questions at your
fingertips. The opportunity to share dialogue with a publicized
children’s picture book author enables you to obtain useful, relevant
"insider information. Stay connected? Publishing information in
abundant. You can learn tricks of the trade at every turn.

And I liked this bit of marketing advice that is applicable to just
about any business:

* The Scoop

Place of bowl of wrapped candy, such as Hershey’s Kisses,
on your exhibit table to attract picture book buyers with a
sweet-tooth!

Several useful appendixes contain additional information for
any would-be author on such topics as book reviewers, industry
vendors and resources, websites, and conferences.

One final comment: If you get this book and you're anywhere
near Bucks County, PA, take a copy over to Donahue's
store: the Zebra-Striped Whale in Newtown . . . you'll have
a blast reading it there and if you're lucky, you might even
get the author as the person who gives you one or more
of your favorite scoops of ice cream.

D. I recently heard the audiobook version of PATTON: A GENIUS FOR WAR,
hosted by A&E's Jack Perkins . . . this was apparently the exact
same program that appeared on BIOGRAPHY, the TV show--minus
the pictures.

In some respects, I liked it better in that it gave me the freedom
to listen to the show while driving . . . also, it was commercial-free.

General George S. Patton was one of America's most celebrated
generals in history . . . this informative program traces his life
from his spoiled childhood through his many conquests during
World War II.

What I really enjoyed was hearing Patton's own words, as
spoken by him:

* [on dealing with his dyslexia] I have trouble with my As, Bs and
what was that third letter?

* I don't know why they [his men] like me as I curse them
freely on all occasions.

* I believe that I reported more men than any officer this summer.
They don't like me, though when I get out in front of them, the
foolishness stops.

* It is as natural for me to be a solider as it is to breathe.

And my favorite passage, in which he described his battle
with German Field Marshall Rommel:

* It would be like a combat between kids in the old days. If
I killed him, I'd be the champ. America would win the war. If
he killed me, well, he wouldn't.

As a result of listening to this program, I'm now going to revisit
PATTON (the excellent movie, starring George C. Scott) . . . and
seek out more A&E biographies, if I can find them in book version.

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5. TV alert

A. Megan Mullally returns to TV on the season premiere of IN THE
MOTHEROOD, which is based on the Web series about the
real-life experiences of moms . . . Thursday at 8 p.m. on ABC.

B. Grammy-winning soul singer Jill Scott stars in THE NO. 1
LADIES' DETECTIVE AGENCY, based on Alexander McCall
Smith's best-selling series of short and sweet novels set in
Botswana . . . Sunday at 9 p.m. on HBO.

C. LITTLE DORRIT runs on Sundays at 9 p.m. from March
29 to April 26 on PBS . . . according to TV GUIDE, this
"is a Cinderella story played out against a socioeconomic
backdrop that allows for broad social satire, treacherous
villainy and, naturally, aching romance. The cast (including
the poignant Tom Courtenay as Amy's delusional father)
is splendid, as are the production values." . . check local
listings since PBS dates and times often vary.

D. JIM GAFFIGAN: KING BABY airs on COMEDY CENTRAL
on Sunday at 9 p.m. . . . if you don't know who this funny guy
is, view his "Hot Pockets" routine by clicking:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9c9lAfXQHs

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6. Bus trip

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s
the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!”

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says
to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off--go ahead, I'll hold
your monkey for you.”

BELIEVE IT OR NOT:

The above joke was judged the funniest in England and the United
Kingdom in a 2002 scientific study designed to find the funniest
joke in the world. . . . For more information, please click:

 

http://www.innocentenglish.com/best-funny-jokes/funniest-jokes.html 

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7. Websites

A. Finally, some sense on the bailout plan . . . you can learn all
you need to know in slightly more than two minutes by clicking:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wROX3ELlPs

Now this is one person who seems to get it!

B. And to see even more than one person getting it, please click:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ3d3KigPQM

You'll love the joy on the people's faces!

C. BLAINESWORLD, the website, remains up and running . . . to view
it, please click:

 

http://www.blainesworld.net

In case you've always wondered how many others were visiting this
website when you do, look to the bottom left of the homepage
to view the counter . . . pretty impressive, huh?

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8. Computer tip

Google Alerts are email updates of the latest relevant Google results
(web, news, etc.) based on your choice of query or topic.

Some handy uses of Google Alerts include:

* monitoring a developing news story
* keeping current on a competitor or industry
* getting the latest on a celebrity or event
* keeping tabs on your favorite sports teams
* see how often your name gets mentioned on the Internet

Create an alert by clicking:

 

http://www.google.com/alerts

CLARIFICATION:

Lee in Pennsylvania:

I just wanted to mention in response to your computer tip [last week]
that it is important when turning the equipment back on that you turn
on the modem first and wait for about 45 seconds. Then the router. Then
the computer. This insures you first get the signal from the your Internet
provider and that your computer will then get the wireless signal
from the router. 

Lee White
phone: 215.701.3988,  ext. 705 

 

http://www.etcontrols.com

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9. Creative puns for "educated minds," Part 2 of 2

(concluded from last week)

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat
said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep
off the Grass."

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. 
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse
said, "No change yet."

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small
medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now
a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your
Count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

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10. A quote I like

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going
down.--Arnold H. Glasow (1905-1998), American humorist

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11. Thought for the day 

How easy it is to "settle"
by Julie Piper, my teaching colleague at BCCC and, also, Facebook friend

I was thinking today about how it is to settle for something that we are
not happy with as long as it is not making us miserable, especially the
longer we keep doing it. I have said that I want to make a big change
in my life, have gone back to school for it, am essentially chucking the
only career I have ever known out the window and it all seemed so
exciting until.......I actually have to start making the final transition.
Now I feel a million excuses bubbling out why it won't work, it is a bad
idea, how no one is every happy at their jobs, how I am not totally
miserable, I am too old, I can't afford it, on and on.

"Settling" is like quicksand. Once you start to do it, it is so hard to pull
yourself out. I feel like it sucks right back every step of the way. I wonder
how many people waste their lives because of fear of change.

I wouldn't mind giving up on this dream of mine if I really didn't want it.
But I mind giving it up because of fear. And now that the reality is drawing
closer, and this is no longer a fantasy that I moon over, I see that the choice
is going to require major changes in the near future, I am doubting myself.
I am afraid.

But I think I am more afraid having my life go by content with not being
miserable with my work.

I am not settling.

What have you taken a chance on? What do you want to take a chance on?
I'd love to hear about it.

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12. Advance planning department

A. Give & Take Jugglers appear for FREE at the Free Library
of Philadelphia, 1901 Vine St., Philadelphia on Sunday,
March 29 at 2 p.m. . . . for more information, please click:

 

http://www.library.phila.gov

B. Judith Viorst, best-selling author will discuss "Control" at Bucks
County Community College on  Monday, April 6, at 7 p.m.
in the Library Auditorium. Judith is the author of 16 children's books,
4 non-fiction including best-seller, "Necessary Losses" and 7 collections
of poems. Tickets are $10 and can be purchased at:

 

http://www.bucks.edu/tickets

For further information, contact Natalie Kaye at 215.968.8015. There will
also be an opportunity to meet and greet the author.

C.. For another opportunity to see Tom Orr (one of my favorite
New Jersey/Pennsylvania performers) appear, catch the following
FREE performance that he recently wrote me about:
 
I will be understudying two roles in the World Premiere of Bruce Graham's
"Something Intangible" at the prestigious Arden Theatre in Philadelphia.
The understudies will have a special performance of their own for the artistic
staff and anyone we want to invite. This free performance is Wednesday,
April 22nd at 1:30 p.m.
 
Location: 40 N. 2nd Street, Philadelphia

D. Web World: The Future of Online Journalism

Featuring: Chris Krewson, Executive Editor for Online News; Robert Moran,
Online Reporter for The Philadelphia Inquirer; and Bob Kellagher, CFO
for Interactive Media.

Wed, April 22 at 10 a.m. Gateway Auditorium, Bucks County Community
College,

The event is free and open to the public.

For more information, please click:

 

http://www.bucks.edu/journalism/mediaday2009.htm

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PS. Please join me in praying that we soon get our remaining soldiers
back from Iraq and that peace comes to Israel and her neighbors . . . also,
make it a great week!

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