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BLAINESWORLD ![]() The event, held at the Battleground Country Club in Manalapan, was even better than our expectations . . . virtually everything went without a hitch. The food was great, as well as the service . . . for more information about the facility, please click: http://www.battlegroundcc.com The flowers were beautiful . . . Brett Gash, the DJ (609.443.3783), did a fine job . . . and Robert Patten, mayor of the Borough of Hightstown, conducted a lovely service. B. For those of you not at the event, I thought you'd like to hear my remarks: Before I give the toast, I'd like to say . . . Thanks to Hilary, for taking care of 98% of the arrangements..... make that 99.6 % . . . and to Cynthia, my beautiful bride, for helping keep me sane over the past few weeks . . . make that years. Now if I can, I'd like to share just a brief bit of advice with you JP, my . . . dare I say it . . . son-in-law. I got this from my longtime friend, Steve Marinoff, who's here today with his lovely wife Karen . . . Steve shared it with his son, who was recently married, and now he's graciously given me permission to share it with you . . . JP, in the unlikely event you ever have a fight with Risa, all you need to do is keep three simple expressions in mind: First, say . . . I love you. If that doesn't work, say . . . you are right; and If all else fails, say . . . It's my fault. (as I hold up my glass) To Risa and JP . . . Rath dé ort, which is Irish for . . . may God's blessings be with you. and also: Le Chaim, which is Hebrew for . . . to life! C. HELP REQUEST: Thinking about Risa and her wedding reminds me of this one time when she was younger--make that much younger. We were driving not too far from her home and a deer ran out in front of my car . . . unfortunately, I hit it and Risa was devastated . . . she wanted me to go into the woods to find the deer to see if it was OK . . . I declined, thinking to myself . . . that's all I needed to do . . . check on the condition of this poor deer, then have his or her brothers jump me . . . as in, "There's the turkey who got Bambi." I mention this because I recently hit another deer . . . it wasn't my fault, really, but I feel terrible about it . . . my car feels even worse; i.e., there's some damage that I need to now repair . . which leads me to ask: Do you know of any auto body shops in the area that you would recommend for such work? I'd prefer it being in Somerset County or Mercer County in New Jersey, but would consider Bucks County as well . . . any help you could provide would be much appreciated. D. INVITE: If you're a past or present student of mine, I'd love to have you join me on my last night of teaching at the College; i.e., on Tuesday, December 9 . . . what I'll probably do: wrap-up the semester with my regular students, then have some sort of get-together for everybody else--probably at around 7:30 p.m. . . . details to follow, but if I haven't already asked you about this idea, please send me an email if you're interested and/or available . . . put down in subject line: YES FOR DECEMBER 9 . . . send it to: bginbc@aol.com. Please also share this information with any of my past or present students that you may encounter. This is my 32nd year of teaching at Bucks County Community College, plus I've taught another five years at other schools . . . I'll be on sabbatical in the spring and, also, completing my term as president of the teacher's union . . . then it's off to Asheville. ***** BLAINESWORLD BEST AWARD ***** This week, it goes to Hilary Greenfield--Risa's mother and my ex-wife. As indicated above, she did a great job in taking care of just about all the arrangements for the wedding. And she did so while working in her full-time job as one of the librarians at Hightstown High School. What you don't know . . . or "the rest of the story," as Paul Harvey likes to say . . . what Hilary had to go through to get an officiant for the event . . . we had been set on having my nephew David's wife, Bettina, handle things . . . that is what she does--and does it very well, by the way. For more information, please click: http://www.weddingsbybettina.com/Site/index.html But shortly before the wedding, Bettina and David had their first child: Julian Darius . . . so that meant Hilary had to run around to find a replacement . . . she was able to line-up a friend, a pastor, and things were going along smoothly. Yet he then had the audacity to have a minor stroke . . . without even telling us, no less . . . so with only about a week left, Hilary again found the need to get a second replacement. Fortunately, Mayor Patten was available and all went smoothly. And Hilary, through all this, managed to not have any sort of breakdown! Back to Top _________________________________________________________ 2. FYI Examine those areas in your life where your resources (your time, talent and skills) are not being put to the best use. A student once asked Albert Einstein how many feet were in a mile; he replied that he didn't know. Seeing the student's amazement, Einstein replied, "I make it a rule not to clutter my mind with simple information that I can find in a book in five minutes." Don't spend time on things that diffuse your focus and do not advance your goals. SOURCE: THE ENCORE EFFECT (see also Sections 4C and 10) by Mark Sanborn FYI, part 2 * Figen in Pennsylvania, a longtime reader, publishes an excellent newsletter that I find most informative: PEACE WITHIN AND AROUND YOU . . . to subscribe, please click: http://lovethewayyoulive.com/newsletter.php When you do, you'll also receive two FREE manuals on the subject of clearing clutter from your lives. * Marsha in New Jersey: Saw two great films: FROZEN RIVER and W. * Marianne in Pennsylvania, a stress management expert, was recently quoted in a fine article in the BUCKS COUNTY COURIER TIMES, written by Jo Ciavaglia . . . here's what she had to say about dealing with the current economic situation: When looking at emotional stressors, consider what you can control and what you can't, added Marianne Kepler, a Bucks County Community College psychology professor whose specialty is stress management. Things we can control: where we put our money, what bills are paid and when, household expenses. Things we can't control: overseas financial markets, Wall Street, the $700 billion federal bailout. Kepler recommends making the best financial decisions you possibly can. Seek advice from good, reliable professionals. Stay on top of the bills. And let the rest of it go. * Lisa in Pennsylvania: I am so saddened to hear about the passing of Joan Weiss. She was a member of my synagogue and I never even knew it. I had heard her name mentioned there from time to time and said to myself, "nah no way it can be the same Joan Weiss, I'll have to look her up someday" and now she's no longer here. She was a good person and will be missed. It does sound like she lived her remaining time to the fullest, though. You too must feel her loss as you were close colleagues for so many years, my condolences. I owe my love of sales and marketing to you and Joan . . . classes with you both in personal selling, retail management and marketing helped me figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up and you both passed on a love of learning. After Bucks, it took 13 years and 7 schools (and a few cross country moves) until I earned an MBA in marketing and am in a job I love as Director of Marketing. As I keep up on your doings here and there by reading BLAINESWORLD, I thought you might want to hear this before you leave us. Make sure whomever they hire to fill your shoes knows how many times THE WALL STREET JOURNAL likes to turn their list. (If memory serves me correctly, it's 7?) You taught me that. * Dana in Pennsylvania: How many readers are going to be able to eat at those restaurants [in Asheville] after you review them? I already feel unfortunate not to be able to eat at your local NJ bistros. I go to many local restaurants around Bucks and Montgomery Co, as I'm sure many other readers do as well. Perhaps you should ask your readers to submit reviews of area restaurants that could be included in your newsletter. MY TWO CENTS: Not a bad idea from Dana. As always, I welcome suggestions and/or recommendations from readers. By the same token, I'll continue to write about both New Jersey and Pennsylvania places that I will frequent on my many trips "up North" . . . in addition, I'll be writing about North Carolina locales as I add more readers from there. Back to Top _________________________________________________________ 3. Food for thought Sixty is the new fifty . . . mostly because all the money we saved in the last decade is gone. Back to Top _________________________________________________________ 4. Reviews A. I first noticed Dakota Fanning when she was 8, and she starred in I AM SAM (a film you MUST rent if you've never seen it) . . . since then, I've seen just about everything she has been in--including her most recent film, THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES . . . this is the tale of a young girl, haunted by the memory of her late mother . . . she escapes the troubled life she has with her father to live with three sisters in a small South Carolina town . . . Fanning is fine in her role, as is the rest of the talented cast . . . I particularly liked the work of Paul Bettany (so fine in A KNIGHT'S TALE, another movie to rent) . . . yet overall, BEES left me flat . . . it was too maudlin for my taste and at the end, I just didn't feel the sort of attachment to any of the characters that I thought I should . . . rated PG-13. B. There's nothing new out on DVD that I can recommend, so let me instead refer you to one film that I recently revisited: EDUCATING RITA . . . it's a delightful romantic comedy-drama about a 26-year-old working class British hairdresser who decides to seek an education at Oxford University . . . Julie Waters shines in the role, and she is equally matched by Michael Caine who plays her alcoholic professor . . . there's a great musical soundtrack, too . . . rated PG, though methinks that it wouldn't be of much interest to anybody under the age of 13. C. I've previously enjoyed both THE FRED FACTOR and YOU DON'T NEED A TITLE TO BE A LEADER by Mark Sanborn . . . his latest, THE ENCORE EFFECT (see also Sections 2 and 10), has enhanced my opinion of this author . . . he is rapidly becoming one of our country's top business/motivational writers--and he's a personal favorite. What I like about Sanborn is that each effort is different than the previous one . . . in this one, he talks about how to make each performance outstanding; in fact, so outstanding that people will be applauding for an encore. Wouldn't that be a great thing to accomplish? It really doesn't seem all that hard, particularly if you take his advice on getting feedback: * When was the last time you asked your audience, "How would you define an encore performance?" What could you do to be a more supportive parent, spouse, or friend? How much more effective would you be if you knew what your family and friends need from you? You can go beyond satisfying your audience only when you know what they want. A little later, he then goes on to say: * To create the Encore Effect, you shouldn't be focused on your own happiness or success, but on the happiness or success of others. We all tend to repeat the experiences in life that have a positive impact on us. And when you have a positive impact on others, they'll want to repeat the experience in the same way. One of the things I like best about this author is how he constantly incorporates real examples and situations into his writing . . . for example, this was his use of the following story: * At the bagel shop near my home, there is a new manager who always delivers great performance. Recently, he was working the cash register. When an older gentleman in line ahead of me asked for the senior citizen discount, the manager smiled and said, "What? You're trying to fool me, aren't you? You can't be a day over thirty!"--all the while ringing up the man's purchase less the discount. As I approached the register, he said, "Now here's a brother who's hungry!" He's eating his bagel before he's even paid for it!" Guilty as charged. I couldn't help smiling as I paid. As I walked away, I heard the manager's banter continue with the next person in line. You and I have been in situations where such a performance would have fallen flat. It would have been irritating, it would not have been funny, and it would have slowed down the transaction-it would have been a turn-off instead of a turn-on. But that day, in that bagel shop, the manager gave a remarkable performance. He wasn't promoting himself-he was promoting the customers. He wasn't "showing-off"-he was warm, engaging and just humorous enough to add value to what probably would have been a bland transaction in another establishment. Read THE ENCORE EFFECT if you want to be personally inspired . . . you'll also learn how to encourage others to do their best on a more regular basis. D. Heard THE BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO HEATLHY EATING, written and real by Dr. Andrew Weil. Weil, one of America's most well-known natural health physicians, does a nice job of presenting much of what I wished I had known many years earlier in my life . . . he reviews what you need to know about fats, carbohydrates, proteins and calories, and he also presents the secrets behind the Japanese and Mediterranean diets. Among the many tidbits I gained form listening to this short, but oh-so-insightful program were the following: * The less you can get processed and refined foods in your diet, the better you are. * Use olive oil as your major cooking oil. * You must have Omega 3 fatty acids in your diet. * Your protein should be 15-20% of your total number of calories. In general, try to eat more vegetable protein and less animal protein. I'd tell you more, but I now feel compelled to eat something healthy! Back to Top _________________________________________________________ 5. TV alert A. Comedian Frank Caliendo returns on FRANK TV with some new cast members that will result in even more impressions in this very funny sketch-comedy series . . . look for "appearances" from John McCain, Mel Gibson, Sean Connery, Tom Brokaw, Al Gore and Harrison Ford . . . Tuesdays at 11 p.m. on TBS. B. The Philadelphia Phillies begin their quest for a second World Series title when they take on the Tampa Bay Rays in Game 1 of the Fall Classic on Wednesday at 8 p.m. on FOX . . . other games this week are slated for Thursday, Saturday and Sunday--all at the same time. My thoughts on the matter: * Some Fall Classic. If there's any bad weather, we may well be watching games into the winter. * I miss being able to watch games in the afternoon. Getting nostalgic here, I'm even recalling how I would bring a transistor radio into school in the hopes of finding a sympathetic teacher that would let you listen. * The Phillies last won a championship back some 28 years ago. (It almost seems like yesterday.) To quote Jimmy Rollins, their shortstop: "I'm tired of hearing about 1980. We want our own parade!" * Go Phillies! C. I try to keep up with what's happening by watching or taping WASHINGTON WEEK . .. the show features a group of journalists participating in roundtable discussion of major news events . . . Fridays at 8 p.m. on PBS . . . times and dates often vary on PBS stations, so check local listings. D. LITTLE BRITAIN USA airs Sundays at 10:30 p.m. on HBO . . . TV GUIDE calls it "a howlingly funny freak-show tour of America [that's] very rude and often tremendously grotesque." Back to Top _________________________________________________________ 6. Next life In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better everyday. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities. You become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters Until finally . . . you finish off as an orgasm! I rest my case. REQUEST FOR NAME OF AUTHOR: The above piece is sometimes attributed to Woody Allen, but I haven't been able to confirm that he wrote it . . . if you know for sure who did, please me know the author and/or the source. Back to Top _________________________________________________________ 7. Websites A. To make life simpler for you when seeking a credit card, please click: http://www.creditcardguide.com/ You can see a wide array of credit card offers, both for personal and business usage . . . in addition, there are useful tools to compare and find the best card . . . and you can even apply online from this website. B. Regardless of what you think about Sarah Palin, she was funny . . . make that very funny . . . on last week's SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE . . . she was also a great sport. See for yourself by clicking this link for the opening of the show: http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/gov-palin-cold-open/773761/ Or this one for the Weekend Update skit: http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/update-palin-rap/773781/ PLEASE NOTE: Make sure you also see Section 9 for more on the upcoming election. C. BLAINESWORLD, the website, remains up and running . . . to view it, please click: http://www.blainesworld.net By doing so, you can check out what I do with your name; e.g., if you're a subscriber to this missive . . . just click "Newsletter" to the left, then "Privacy Statement." Back to Top _________________________________________________________ 8. Computer tip Google has recently introduced a free Web browser called Chrome . . . to download it, please click: http://www.google.com/chrome Using it, you'll get: * One box for everything. Type-in the address bar and get suggestions for both search and web pages. * Thumbnails of your top sites. Access your favorite pages instantly with lightning speed from any new tab. * Desktop shortcuts to launch your favorite web applications. Google is hoping that Chrome is even better than Internet Explorer or Firefox . . . I'd be interested in our reaction(s); e.g., with respect to what browser you think is best. Back to Top _________________________________________________________ 9. Who's funnier, McCain or Obama? The two Senators appeared together at the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner in New York on October 16 . . . for perhaps the first time ever, they both came across as nice guys--and funny, too. McCain was first up; among his zingers: * Events are moving fast in my campaign and yes, it's true that this morning I've dismissed my entire team of senior advisers. All of their positions will be now be held by a man named Joe the Plumber. * What they don't know is that Joe the Plumber recently signed a very lucrative contract with a wealthy couple to handle all the work on all seven of their houses. * Acknowledging that he was the underdog, McCain said that even in a setting of "proud Manhattan Democrats" he had a feeling that there was support in the room for him. "I'm delighted to see you here tonight, Hillary," he said, pointing to Obama's former rival. * McCain then asked where husband Bill was--acknowledging that the former president had a "subtle approach" to campaigning for Obama's presidency. "When a reporter asked him if Obama was qualified to be President, Bill Clinton pointed out, 'Sure, he's over 35 and a U.S. citizen.' He was pandering to the strict constructionist crowd," McCain said. * It's going to be a long, long night at MSNBC if I manage to pull this off. I understand that Keith Olbermann offered up his own "Mission Accomplished" banner. If they need any decorating advice on that banner, ask Keith to call me so I can tell him right where to put it. Obama then had his turn; among his quips: * I do love the Waldorf-Astoria. You know, I hear that from the doorstep you can see all the way to the Russian Tearoom. * At one of these campaign rallies, someone in the crowd started yelling, ''no-bama,'' announcing to everyone in the room that I shouldn't be the Democratic nominee because there were far more qualified candidates. I really wish Joe Biden hadn't done that. * Recently, one of John's top advisers told the Daily News that if we keep talking about the economy, McCain's going to lose. So, tonight I'd like to talk about the economy.And while the collapse of the housing market's been tough on every single home owner, I think we all need to recognize that this crisis has been eight times harder on John McCain. * Who is Barack Obama? Contrary to the rumors you have heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father Jor El to save the planet Earth. As for his middle name "Hussein," which sadly has become an issue to fringe elements on the right, Obama sought to clear up an urban myth, "First of all, my middle name is not what you think. It's actually Steve. That's right. Barack Steve Obama." PLEASE NOTE: Make sure you also see Section 7B for more on the upcoming election. Back to Top _________________________________________________________ 10. A quote I like When you are encouraging others, you might say, "I think so highly of you that I want you to reach a level of performance that is higher than you believe you can achieve. I believe you can reach it. And I want to encourage you to believe it as well."--Mark Sanborn in THE ENCOURE EFFECT (see also Sections 2 and 4C) Back to Top _________________________________________________________ 11. Thought for the day Rabbi Mel Glazer, a friend, responded to last week's "Thought for the day" with his own Last Lecture . . . it is the epilogue from his excellent book, AND GOD CREATED HOPE, which can be obtained from: http://www.andgodcreatedhope.com Epilogue While I was writing AND GOD CREATED HOPE, I moved to Stroudsburg, PA to become Rabbi at Temple Israel of the Poconos. As part of the move I needed to find new doctors, so I made an appointment with one of the local specialists. He suggested that I have my lungs checked as part of a thorough physical exam. He scheduled me for a C.A.T. scan, expecting to find nothing out of the ordinary. Well, surprise, surprise! When I returned to the doctor for the results, he told me that there was a spot on my lung, and he couldn't rule out lung cancer. Next, he scheduled me to have a P.O. scan, which would show if anything was going on in my throat. Three days later, I went to the surgery center, and through an IV, they inserted some dye, which flowed through my entire upper body, so I could be scanned. I lay still for 65 minutes, trying to "zone out," actually counting the seconds (one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three . . . ) and trying to act like the macho man that I did not feel like. My doctor had scheduled the next appointment for a week later. I asked him for an earlier date, but he said that it took that long for the results and the evaluation of the scan. It turned out that the results and the evaluation were all done two hours after the test, but I didn't know that then. So, I had a whole week to think about the possibility that I might be dying of lung cancer. What made it really scary was that my mother died of lung cancer. She was a heavy smoker. I've never smoked, but I had already presumed that this might be genetic and that my life was over. And so I began to plan. What would I do with the time I had left? First, would I take chemo and radiation for the cancer? I decided absolutely not, since I didn't want to spend the next year suffering through mind-and-body-torturing treatments which would, at best, give me maybe another month or two of life, life that wasn't really life at all. I've seen too many of my congregants and friends go through that, and I knew it was not for me. Would I quit my job as Rabbi? Yes, I would do that immediately upon receiving the test results and cancer diagnosis, and I even began working on my final sermon. I would tell my new congregation that there are places in this world that I want to visit with my wife, Ellen, and that I especially need to return to Israel for a final visit, so I'd be resigning from the pulpit. I would thank them for the lessons they'd already taught me even in the short time we'd had together, and I'd ask their forgiveness for any pain I'd caused them. I would complete my relationship with them before I left. After seeing other parts of the world, I'd return home and begin to travel all across the country, giving a lecture to anyone who might be interested, titled: "Final Life--Thoughts of a Grateful Rabbi." During the lecture, I'd talk about how gratitude was the first feeling I'd had after learning of my impending death. Above all, I'd say I'm grateful for the life I've been granted, and I consider my life a precious gift to me from God. After gratitude would come everything else, all my other feelings and thoughts. I would talk about how the world can only be repaired when gratitude replaces entitlement, when we move outside ourselves toward others in our lives. When I thought about dying, I realized that I wasn't angry, just sad that I wouldn't live to see my kids' life-cycle events or share in the lives of my grandchildren. I felt like my hopes, dreams, and aspirations had been reached, and that I'd die happy and fulfilled. If my time had come, I'd be ready, unafraid and pleased with what I'd accomplished in my life. I knew that I'd mattered to a lot of folks, and my teachings and memories would be my final gift to them and to the Universe. I believe that when our mission on this earth is accomplished, we can be ready and prepared to leave this world for whatever comes next. The problem is: Who among us knows when their missions have been accomplished? We don't. So, if God has decided that my earthly purpose has been fulfilled, who am I to argue? I've known too many people who have "lived too long." They spent their final years in pain or totally unable to communicate with those they loved. I would, indeed, be fortunate, because I would leave this life on my own terms, proud and grateful. Smart guy that I am, I was sure I had it all figured out. Needless to say, thank God, the results came back showing that the spot on my lung was some benign scar tissue left over from who-knows-what and who-knows-when. I was elated. I really was. But, to tell the deep, dark, honest-to-God truth, I was just a wee bit disappointed at the same time. I was actually looking forward to the last year of my life. I was going to be able to fill the closing chapter of my existence with passion! Between seeing the world, teaching people across the country the truths I'd learned, and finishing my book on grief and hope, my days would be filled with joy and creativity. They would be filled with life, not death, and when the end came, I'd feel that my life had been well worth my 59 years of effort. That's my story, and it has a happy ending. Sort of. The gnawing-in-my-gut question I continue to ask myself ever since this happened is: What's stopping me from doing all those things I was going to do if I was going to die? How many of them can I still do right now, even without a death sentence hanging over me? Why do I have to wait until the Angel of Death comes calling for me, for real? These are the real questions, not thoughts of dying one day, that continue to haunt me. Back to Top _________________________________________________________ 12. Advance planning department A. Edward Nystrom, author of THE PYSCHOLOGY OF POSITIVE THINKING, speaks at the Mary Jacobs Library in Skillman, NJ on Thursday, October 23, at 7:30 p.m. . . . learn about how your mind creates the reality you experience and how the reality you have experienced creates you . . . please pre-register by calling 609.924.7073, ext. 4. B. Friends of Bucks County Community College: Saxophonist Richard Hodges with John Forconi, piano and John Enz, cello, performing the music of Piazssolla, Falla and Granados. Sunday, October 26, at 4 p.m. in Gateway Auditorium $10 suggested donation to support the BCCC Library. Information: 215.968.8003. C. You're cordially invited to my next Marketing class on Tuesday, October 28, at which time I'll be presenting on "How to market your business for $75 or less" . . . time: 6:30 p.m. . . . location: Penn 410 at Bucks County Community College, Newtown, PA . . . NO CHARGE, but please email me (bginbc@aol.com) to let me know that you would be joining me. D. Tom in Pennsylvania: First, I apologize that I have not got this message out earlier, but I am already finished my second week with "My Fair Lady", with three more to go. I am in the ensemble and understudying the great Professor Higgins role in my first full-time Equity role in many years. As many of you know, I have been trying to finish the requirements for my Equity card for the last year and I am getting very close. The last month has kept me so busy that I have had little Internet time. Rehearsals were 3 weeks of 9 to 5 Monday thru Saturday. But I digress, this is mainly to let you know that if you were planning to come, make your reservations through me. Tickets range from $35 to $45, but if I make the reservations it is $30. Just send me an email. Check the Media website for times: http://www.mediatheatre.org/SiteResources/Data/Templates/IFrameLayout.asp?docid=716&DocName=My%20Fair%20Lady Here is our review in the INQUIRER: http://www.philly.com/inquirer/columnists/howard_shapiro/20080807__Les_Miz__tops_list_of_Barrymore_nods.html I will be letting you know if I actually get a chance to play Henry Higgins! Back to Top ________________________________________________________ PS. Please join me in praying that we soon get our remaining soldiers back from Iraq and that peace resumes in Israel . . . also, make it a great week! ---------------------------------------------------------- SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBCRIBE INFORMATION To subscribe to this publication, please send an email to: bginbc@aol.com and put SUBSCRIBE in subject line . . . if you wish to unsubscribe, just send an email to same address and put UNSUBSCRIBE in subject line.
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