Background
BLAINESWORLD (formerly STUFF)--the newsletter--contains some jokes, hopefully not too risqué; websites; reviews, etc. It began in 1996 and has come out on a more or less weekly basis since then.
For this missive to work best, it needs to be a two-way process; i.e., you need to share your thoughts and ideas. I will do likewise. And toward that end, I'd like you to think about the following: If I gave you a dollar, and you gave me a dollar back, we'd each have a buck. However, if I gave you a joke, quote or idea, and if you gave me one back, we'd each have two.
Past Issues In the unlikely event you are not already a
subscriber and want to see a past issue, please click here:
Current Edition
BLAINESWORLD
#800
1.23.2012
In this issue:
1. Reflections
2. FYI
3. JOKE 1: Cause for concern
4. Reviews . . . THE ARTIST, etc.
5. TV alert
6. JOKE 2: Chutzpah
7. Websites
8. Computer tip
9. JOKE 3: How to annoy Northerners, part 2 of 2
10. A quote I like
11. Thought for the day
12. Advance planning department
_________________________________________________________
1. Reflections
A. Cynthia, my beautiful bride, and I attended the semifinal round of "Asheville's Sunday Best" . . . this is a gospel competition sponsored by The Bridge to Independence, Inc. . . . we were joined by our friend Chuck . . . he's pictured (below) in the center, in between Cynthia on the left and an entertainer by the name of David Marsh on the right.
Marsh performed during the intermission and wowed all those in attendance. . . . the first half of the show featured contestants under 18 . . . they were all excellent, and we were glad that Trinity Williams, our favorite, made it into the finals . . . the second half was for those over 18 . . . this time, we were a bit surprised that our favorite (Nakeisha Shivers) wasn't chosen to go further in the competition.
Overall, it was a most tuneful evening. and the host, Latravious Geter, was particularly outstanding.
B. On Saturday, I was fortunate to be able to hear Mark Evans speak at the kickoff event for Mission Hospital's weight loss competition . . . no, I'm not interested in losing a large amount of weight; rather, I wanted to learn how Evans managed to get from 650 pounds to his present weight of 300 (as documented on the A&E reality show HEAVY).
Among the tips he included were the following:
(1) Your biggest cheerleader is yourself.
(2) Little things make a big difference; e.g., use small plates.
(3) You need to have somebody who has your back.
(4) You can't do it alone; e.g., join Overeaters Anonymous, Weight Watchers, etc.
(5) If you slip, consider your next step.
(6) You need to get a sleep study.
(7) Fruit is your friend.
He also encouraged those in attendance to check out his blog:
http://woollymammothrunner.blogspot.com/
For more information about Mission Hospital's weight-loss competition, please click:
http://www.lightenup4life.com/
C. CONGRATULATIONS to:
(1) Karen M. and Suzanne W, both winners of Contest #1. They each won one seat to the upcoming Brian Biro presentation at UNCA. All total, there were eight entries.
***** CONTEST #2 *****
Two lucky readers will each win two tickets to an upcoming UNCA basketball game (1.26, 2.11 or 2.23) at the Kimmel Arena. If you live in Western North Carolina, this is a contest for you to enter. Send an email to: bginbc@aol.com and put Contest #2 in the subject line. Put your name and mailing address in the body of the email. Entries must be received by Sunday night, Feb. 5.
(2) Mission Health, our outstanding local hospital, on having earned a spot among the 15 health systems identified this week as the nation's best by Thomson Reuters in its fourth annual study of clinical performance. For more information, please click:
http://www.citizen-times.com/article/20120118/NEWS/301180027/Mission-garners-top-15-ranking?odyssey=tab|topnews|text|Frontpage
(3) Lori Brown in Indiana on her recent engagement.
(4) To Brendan Mulvey in Pennsylvania for having been named the winner of the Media Theatre's Walter M. Strine Award. For more information, please click:
http://pennsylvania.broadwayworld.com/article/P-Brendan-Mulvey-to-be-Honored-at-225-Media-Theatre-Gala-20120123#ixzz1kNnQbRxy
D. CONDOLENCES to:
(1) Liz Sette and family on the passing of Liz' mom.
(2) Deb Clayton and family on the passing of Deb's father-in-law.
***** BLAINESWORLD BEST AWARD *****
This week, it goes to Clark Shutser—president of the Lower Bucks County (PA) Chamber of Commerce. He’ll be stepping down from this post on Friday, January 27, three weeks after his 27th anniversary of employment there.
Under his direction, the Chamber established leadership programs for local business owners in 1991 and high school students in 2001. Both are still going strong. In addition, he oversaw a building expansion in the mid-1990s that almost doubled the size of the Fairless Hills headquarters that enabled it to host hundreds of network meetings and other events.
I had the pleasure to work with Clark on several occasion while I was employed at Bucks County Community College. He always impressed with me with his dedication, enthusiasm and competence, and he will be missed.
Knowing Clark, though, I’m confident that he will stay active in the community. I’m also hopeful that he gets to play some more, and that he finds time to spend with his wife Jane.
Back To Top
_________________________________________________________
2. FYI
TEACHERS CAN & DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE: To see just one example, please read this column to learn about a remarkable English teacher.
OPINION | January 22, 2012
Op-Ed Columnist: How Mrs. Grady Transformed Olly Neal
By Nicholas D. Kristof
Teachers have the most important job in America. To understand why, listen to the story of Olly Neal, whose life was turned around by an English teacher.
For the rest of this article, please click:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/22/opinion/sunday/kristof-how-mrs-grady-transformed-olly-neal.html?_r=1
FYI, part 2
A. Clips:
(1) Linda H. in North Carolina: I have recently become addicted to TED Talks . . . take the next 18 minutes and soak up the [one] below:
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/he/bunker_roy.html
(2) Rep. Gabrielle Giffords Steps Down from Congress (very moving!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nguu0TkCTd4
(3) Michael H. in Pennsylvania: Romney-Gekko 2012 ad: 'Believe in America--Hide Your Money in the Caribbean'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZDhcZebvK8&feature=youtu.be
(4) Kristi M. in North Carolina: Leave it to the Brits. Pretty funny!
http://www.wimp.com/animalvoiceovers/
(5) Oh Happy Day! (great rendition)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a37bBm8pXSk
(6) Vince M. in Pennsylvania: This is a day brightener; please watch all the way through.
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=oXvJ8UquYoo&vq=large
(7) Nancy P. in North Carolina: A man, a dog and a rat
http://www.youtube.com/v/D85yrIgA4Nk
B. Other
To read any and/or all of the following, please click:
http://wp.me/p1g9Ev-yY
(1) Rodney R. in New Jersey: I love your newsletter/email blog!
(2) Savannah H. in Pennsylvania: We both loved THE ARTIST.
(3) Michael U. in Pennsylvania: SHERLOCK HOLMES was gr8!
(4) Tom H. in North Carolina: DIY Lego Lunchbox
(5) Andy L. in Pennsylvania: Sweet potato casserole
(6) Sandy B. in Pennsylvania: Yes, you ARE blessed to be living where you live.
(7) Delores C. in Pennsylvania: Thanks for sharing. I really like the view from you house.
Back To Top
_________________________________________________________
3. JOKE 1: Cause for concern
I worry that a generation who's growing up on social media will never develop the patience necessary to watch TV.--Andy Borowitz (born 1958), American comedian who created the satirical THE BOROWITZ REPORT . . . special thanks to Jean in Pennsylvania for not only sharing the above, but also for being one of the first to tell me about Borowitz . . . his stuff rocks!
NOTE: You can get the above, for FREE, by email . . . I strongly recommend that you do . . . it always puts a smile on my face . . . to subscribe, please click:
http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=743947b930
Back To Top
_________________________________________________________
4. Reviews
A. I enjoyed THE ARTIST while watching it, but didn't think it was all that great . . . however, thinking about it some more now, I'm finding that my overall appreciation for the film is growing . . . the story is about a silent movie superstar . . . with the advent of the talkies, his career falls apart while an extra's takes off . . . their destinies soon become intertwined . . . performances by both Jean Dufardin and Berenice Bejo were outstanding; however, the work of Uggie (a dog) really caught my attention . . . he stole almost every scene he was in . . . I loved the black-and-white cinematography in the ARTIST, as well as its ending . . . rated PG-13.
BE FOREWARNED: There is little dialogue in the film . . . make that very little dialogue . . . so if you're expecting a talkie, you're going to be disappointed . . . in fact, some moviegoers have asked for their money back because they did not know what they were getting into . . . for more information, please click:
http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/01/18/moviegoers-ask-for-refunds-after-finding-out-the-artist-is-a-silent-film/
B. 50/50 is now out in DVD format . . . my review from BLAINESWORLD #785 follows:
50/50 is based on a true story of two friends, Joseph Gordon-Levit and Seth Rogen, whose lives are changed by a cancer diagnosis. It is both a comedy and drama, and I thought it succeeded in both counts. There are moments that will have you laughing and others that will make you really feel for what's happening on screen. Gorden-Levit, so fine in 500 DAYS OF SUMMER, again delivers an outstanding performance in this film. Rogen and Anna Kendrick are also quite good. Rated R.
C. I recently read Joey Asher's latest book, 15 MINUTES INCLUDING Q&A . . . it was so good that I made a note to myself to get other stuff he has written, including his free newsletter.
After reading and benefiting from the latter for the past several months, I got hold of something he had written back in 2001: EVEN A GEEK CAN SPEAK (Persuasive Speaker Press) . . . I was particularly intrigued by the subtitle, LOW-TECH PRESENTATION SKILLS FOR HIGH-TECH PEOPLE, in that I thought that was just the thing needed by many folks.
However, I now am convinced that the author didn't do himself justice . . . the tips and ideas he presents apply to just about anybody, regardless of profession.
I kept taking notes on what I was reading, which is always a good sign in that it tells me that there's a lot of useful information being presented . . . for example, I particularly liked this advice on what to do when you're in a schmoozing situation:
* Remember the nursery rhyme about Old MacDonald? Keep the letters "E-I-O" in your head.
E stands for Experiences. Ask your conversation partner about his experiences at his current job. Or about her experiences on her recent trip to China.
I stands for Interests. "So what about your job is most interesting to you?"
O stands for Opinions. "Tell me what you think about . . . "
In addition, I liked Asher's take on humor . . . he recommended using it with caution, but one technique that works is using a joke from a relevant cartoon:
* When Justice speaks about stress in the workplace, he tells the story about astronaut John Glenn, who was asked what he was thinking about as his rocket was ready to blast off. Glenn reportedly said, "I was thinking about how everything I was sitting on top of was built by the lowest bidder."
And then there was this great tidbit on what to do when learning how to improve your eye contact:
* Here's a game you can try with your friends to learn how to give sustained eye contact during a presentation.
Seated in chairs around the room, have each of your friends put their hand in the air before you begin.
When you begin speaking, make eye contact with one of your listeners and hold it.
The listeners should not put their hand down until they feel that you have really connected with them.
The game is over when you get every one of your friends to put their hands down.
You'll find that it takes quite a bit of work to get those hands down. You really need to hold that eye contact for several seconds to give the listener the sense that you've connected.
None of the above sound overly difficult, and that's the whole beauty of EVEN A GEEK CAN SPEAK . . . you can read it and shortly thereafter, you'll be a much better speaker than you presently are--or even thought you could be.
D/ Heard BARREL FEVER AND OTHER STORIES (Time Warner Audio Book), written by David Sedaris and read by the author and his sister Amy Sedaris.
It's an uneven collection of stories and essays by the sardonic humorist that had me chucking in some spots, but more often left me wondering why others think this guy is so funny.
Yet that said, I did enjoy "Giantess," a recollection of Sedaris' experiences with a magazine of erotica about enormous women, as well as "Diary of a Smoker," which gives an account of the persecution he has faced from nonsmokers.
And best of all, there's “Santaland Diaries" . . . this tale describes his seasonal stint as a Macy's elf, and for that alone, I'd recommend the book--provided you can fast forward throughout vast parts of it.
Back To Top
_________________________________________________________
5. TV alert
A. PHIL OCHS: THERE BUT FOR FORTUNE, one of my favorite documentaries, airs on AMERICAN MASTERS on Saturday at 3:30 a.m. on PBS . . . because PBS stations and times often vary, check local listings for other dates and times. According to THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, "The picture of Ochs is in the end a tragic one . . . Nevertheless, there had been that voice, those wit-filled lyrics, the unforgettable "I Ain't Marching Anymore," and they're here now, a rich bounty, in this film." Don't miss it!
And to get you psyched, here's another of his songs, "Outside a Small Circle of Friends:"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulTmmTIlM_o
NOTE: If you'd like to get my complete listing of other favorite films, send an email to bginbc@aol.com and put FAVORITE FILMS in the subject line.
B. NEWS 13 SATURDAY MORNING (in the Asheville area) features Lorre, Cynthia's friend, in costume and talking about her singing Valentines for Valentine's Day . . . Saturday at 7 a.m. . . if you miss the show, you can find more information about this great gift option by clicking:
www.thesingingtelegram.com
C. NAMATH profiles the life and career of New York Jets QB Joe Namath, one of the NFL's first sports celebrities. Liev Schreiber narrates. Saturday at 9 p.m. on HBO.
D. A SMILE AS BIG AS THE MOON is a feel-good HALLMARK HALL OF FAME about a group of special-ed students wanting to attend Space Camp . . . John Corbett stars . . . Sunday at 9 p.m. on ABC.
Back To Top
_________________________________________________________
6. JOKE 2: Chutzpah
Chutzpah, a Yiddish term, means any or all of the following and more: gall, brazen, nervy, effrontery, sheer guts--plus arrogance. As Leo Rosten wrote, no other word in the English language can do it justice. But this little old lady can.
She sold pretzels on a street corner for a dollar each. Every day, a young man would leave his office building at lunch time and as he passed the pretzel stand, he would leave her a dollar but never take a pretzel.
This offering went on for more than three years. The two of them never spoke. One day as the young man passed the old lady's stand and left his dollar as usual, the pretzel lady spoke to him for the first time in over three years. Without blinking an eye she said: "They're a dollar and a quarter now."
Back To Top
_________________________________________________________
7. Websites
A. I'm always blown away by talent . . . and Bruce Stoller, my former classmate at Lawrence High School, certainly has it . . . see for yourself by viewing his strong orchestra work called "Comfortable Sky" that also has photographs of friends and the West that inspired it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqXbj2vHxGI&feature=share
B. For clips of some of his other work, please click:
http://www.youtube.com/user/Bruce88keys/videos
And to subscribe to his youTube channel, please click:
http://www.youtube.com/user/Bruce88keys?blend=4&ob=0
In case 2012 is already getting to you and you're missing the good 'ol days, click 2011, Buh-Bye!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=2zls4Ao3GyM
THANKS to Nelson in North Carolina for sharing the above.
C. BLAINESWORLD, the website, remains up and running . . . to view it, please click:
http://www.blainesworld.net
If you're reading this missive for the first time and would like to subscribe, click the "Special Offer" at the bottom of the home page.
D. Are you on Facebook? In the unlikely event we have not yet connected as friends there, please feel free to send me an invite by clicking:
www.facebook.com/blainegreenfield
Back To Top
_________________________________________________________
8. Computer tip
As you may well know by now, I tend to check stuff I get sent that I'm sent--especially it has been forwarded to me. I urge you to do the same at snopes.com, urbanlegends.com, factcheck.org, truthorfiction.com, hoax-slayer.com, etc.
But sometimes, the search engines for the sites are not all that great . . . and so lately, I'm now doing the following and getting even better results:
1. Take the headline or first line of what I've been forwarded; e.g.,
Bill Cosby's Commentary Says That He is 76 and Tired
2. Do a search via Google. You'll find a lot of useful results, most showing where to look for further information.
3. When I typed the same line into snopes.com, it showed no results. When I then typed "Bill Cosby" into snopes, I got several results and had to dig for the aforementioned headline.
Use the same technique when you get something forwarded about the Congressional Reform Act of 2011, 2012 or probably next year, 2013 . . . these have all been around for quite some time and as you'll see if you do the research, they have no merit . . . nor is there any merit to anything claiming to be that there's going to be a 28th amendment.
Back To Top
_________________________________________________________
9. JOKE 3: How to annoy Northerners, part 2 of 2
(Concluded from last week.)
13. Correct their pronunciation of certain words. For example: It's "pee-can."
14. Put Tabasco on everything.
15. For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say "Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!" say, "Well I'll be, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"
16. When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies . . . banana ones.
17. Name all of your children "Bubba."
18. Use the word "reckon" in a sentence.
19. "Mash" buttons. "Cut" off lights. "Carry" the kids to school. "Fetch" something.
20. Never simply "do" something. Be "fixin to do" something.
21. Tell them you don't have an accent, they do.
22. Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations.
23. Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into an Amoco. Or maybe a BP. Anyway, turn right there . . ." "You said left." "Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town . . . "
24. Ask them if it's still snowing up North. Then tell ‘em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend.
25. Call 'em a Yankee. Works every time.
Back To Top
_________________________________________________________
10. A quote I like
When the Great Referee reviews our final game tape, how many of us will be able to say we did the right thing on every play? Or will we recognize our fumbles, the times when we should have stood up and spoken out, the times when we had to admit "I wish I had done more." As we mourn a good man [Joe Paterno], let's try to remember that only Monday-morning quarterbacks never lose a game.--Joe McDermott (born 1958), former mainstream media hack and notorious ne’er do well who has been inflicting his cantankerous opinion on an unsuspecting public for far longer than he ever thought a civilized society would allow
MY TWO CENTS: Joe's stuff is really good . . . to read more, please indicate "follow" when you click the following link:
http://thebulldogedition.wordpress.com/
Back To Top
_________________________________________________________
11. Thought for the day
The Greatest Customer Service Story Ever Told, Starring Morton’s Steakhouse
by Peter Shankman*
The following story is entirely true. More importantly, I swear on my entire professional reputation and all I hold dear to me that the story below was in no way staged, planned in advance, or in any way faked. This is real. And most importantly: This is AMAZING.
When my alarm clock went off at 3:30 this morning, I knew I was in for a long day. I was catching a 7 a.m. flight out of Newark to Tampa, Florida, for a lunch meeting in Clearwater, then heading back to Newark on a 5 p.m. flight, getting me in around 8:10 p.m., and with any luck, to my apartment by 9 or so. We all have days like that, they happen from time to time.
Made my flight, everything was on time, got to my lunch meeting. Because of the training/workout schedule I’m on, my first meal of the day was that lunch. Was fine, I had a healthy piece of grouper, and a very successful lunch meeting that lasted just about three hours.
By the time I got back to the airport, it was close to 4 p.m. Flight boarded at 4:30 p.m., and I knew that by the time I got home, I wouldn’t have time to stop for dinner anywhere, and certainly didn’t want to grab fast food at either airport. When I got on the plane, my stomach was a rumbling a bit, and I had visions of a steak in my head.
As I’ve tweeted and mentioned countless times before, I’m a bit of a steak lover. I go out of my way to try steakhouses all around the world when I can, and it’s one of the reasons, no doubt, that my trainer at my gym is kept in business. But it’s all good--give and take. Over the past few years, I’ve developed an affinity for Morton’s Steakhouses, and if I’m doing business in a city which has one, I’ll try to schedule a dinner there if I can. I’m a frequent diner, and Morton’s knows it. They have a spectacular Customer Relations Management system in place, as well as a spectacular social media team, and they know when I call from my mobile number who I am, and that I eat at their restaurants regularly. Never underestimate the value of a good CRM system.
Back to my flight. As we were about to take off, I jokingly tweeted the following:
Hey @Mortons - can you meet me at
newark airport with a porterhouse when I
land in 2 hours? K, thanks. :)
Let’s understand: I was joking. I had absolutely no expectations of anything from that Tweet. It’s like how we Tweet “Dear Winter, please stop, love Peter,” or something similar.
I shut off my phone and we took off.
Two and a half hours later, we landed at EWR. The fact that a flight got into EWR on time during summer thunderstorm season is a miracle in itself, but that’s not important right now.
Walking off the plane, I headed towards the area where the drivers wait, as my assistant Meagan had reserved me a car home.
Looking for my driver, I saw my name, waved to him, and started walking to the door of EWR, like I’d done hundreds of times before.
“Um, Mr. Shankman,” he said.
I turned around.
“There’s a surprise for you here.”
I turned to see that the driver was standing next to someone else, who I just assumed was another driver he was talking to. Then I noticed the “someone else” was in a tuxedo.
And he was carrying a Morton’s bag.
Now understand… I’m a born-and-raised New York City kid. It takes a lot to surprise me. A LOT. I see celebrities on the Subway. I see movies being shot outside my apartment, and fake gunfire from any given CSI show, five days a week. I’m immune to surprises.
Except when they’re like this.
Alex, from Morton’s Hackensack walks up to me, introduces himself, and hands me a bag. He proceeds to tell me that he’d heard I was hungry, and inside is a 24 oz. Porterhouse steak, an order of Colossal Shrimp, a side of potatoes, one of Morton’s famous round things of bread, two napkins, and silverware.
He hands me the bag.
I. Was. Floored.
NOTE: The rest of the story actually gets better. It is on the longish side, but well worth reading. To read the whole piece--with pictures--please click:
http://shankman.com/the-best-customer-service-story-ever-told-starring-mortons-steakhouse/
You don't have to read all 438 Comments, but please make sure you read the PS and the part about NASA the Wonder Cat.
* Reprinted with the gracious permission of Peter Shankman. For more information about his blog, consulting, etc., please click: http://shankman.com/
Back To Top
_________________________________________________________
12. Advance planning department
A. North Carolina events:
To read more about and/or all of the following, please click:
http://wp.me/p1g9Ev-z4
(1) Asheville Jazz Orchestra at White Horse
(2) Ignite Asheville events
(3) Brian Biro on Tuesday, January 24 (and see clip if you missed it last week)
(4) You're invited to hear Coach Doug Blevins on Feb. 2
(5) Asheville Talent Slam
(6) Volunteers needed for Mission Hospital Radiothon
(7) A DREAM OF CAMELOT is now being cast
B. Pennsylvania/New Jersey events:
To read more about and/or all of the following, please click:
http://wp.me/p1g9Ev-z2
(1) “101 Ways to Meet Someone” class
(2) We just posted great deals at your favorite Comedy Cabaret
(3) COME BACK, LITTLE SHEBA at Actors Net
Back To Top
_________________________________________________________
PS. Make it a great week!
----------------------------------------------------------
SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBSCRIBE INFORMATION: To subscribe to this publication, please send an email to: bginbc@aol.com and put SUBSCRIBE in subject line . . . if you wish to unsubscribe, just send an email to same address and put UNSUBSCRIBE in subject line. |
